On Zayn Malik Leaving One Direction

[deirdre]

The Road to Hana, site of a recent Zayn Malik / One Direction fangirl moment.

I have a little One Direction story. Earlier this month, we rented a car on Maui and drove on the Road to Hana. There are a lot of roadside stands there, people selling home-made goods. We stopped at one where the radio was playing. As I waited for my grown-in-Hawaii coffee, I started singing to “What Makes You Beautiful.”

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The woman behind the counter did a doubletake. I’m an unapologetic lover of pop music, and I gauged from her reaction that she’d been made fun of for liking the song. (She was a bit older than the stereotypical 1D fan.) Eventually, she started singing along with me.

Another car pulls up, and a woman older than my mother gets out. The woman behind the counter stops singing again, but then the older woman starts humming along. So the younger one does too.

Three generations of women who just happen to like the song, sharing a moment.

As much as the song is overplayed, I think it’s a really important song. Teenage women (in particular) don’t have a lot of messages that they’re beautiful without makeup, that they’re beautiful for who they are. Instead, they’re assaulted by constant messages that what they look like is never enough, the clothes they have are never enough, their weight is never right, etc.

Zayn Malik’s Departure

People burn out from time to time (I burned out as a software engineer twice before leaving in 2013). Zayn’s leaving, and a lot of fans are taking the news badly. I don’t even need to tell you what the #cut4zayn hashtag is for. Or that some people are making fun of them.

Also, let's talk about what laughing at Zayn ACTUALLY is about: laughing at what teen girls like and attach themselves to.

— Katherine Locke (@Bibliogato) March 25, 2015

When you laugh at Zayn, you're telling teen girls their interests have no value. And from that, that *they* have lesser value.

— Katherine Locke (@Bibliogato) March 25, 2015

When you laugh at Zayn, you're telling teen girls that if they are suffering from mental health issues, it's funny, not serious.

— Katherine Locke (@Bibliogato) March 25, 2015

We took those boys when they were teenagers, turned them into sex symbols, tore them away from their families, commercialized them.

— Katherine Locke (@Bibliogato) March 25, 2015

So tell me where we get off saying that a) we're surprised or b) hold no responsibility in respecting the decisions they make as adults?

— Katherine Locke (@Bibliogato) March 25, 2015

Fans of One Direction are ENTIRELY justified in being upset. Be empathetic.

— Katherine Locke (@Bibliogato) March 25, 2015

Zayn Malik is completely justified in leaving to reclaim his life. Be empathetic.

— Katherine Locke (@Bibliogato) March 25, 2015

.@duke_duke_goose @Bibliogato yes. And grown adults treat a young man of color like they own him and he owes them his life. Fuck that shit!

— Jeanne (@fangirlJeanne) March 25, 2015

You lose *nothing* by choosing to let Directioners mourn and leaving a suffering 22yr alone without harassment.

— Katherine Locke (@Bibliogato) March 25, 2015

Preach it, sisters.

All I want to say to the mourning 1D fans: you are beautiful. Don’t forget that.

Also, Zayn may be leaving 1D now, but that’s not necessarily a permanent choice. One thing I’ve learned over the years is that people do come and go, and bands get back together. It’s never guaranteed, of course.

He’s still alive, he’s still young, and there’s still time.

Originally published at deirdre.net. You can comment here or there.