On Parking & Fear of Parking Lots
Nov. 9th, 2010 12:12 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
deirdreI've had issues with parking for several years now -- as my back got worse and worse, it was more and more of a pain (literally) to walk a long way on concrete. Then, one day, my leg went numb when I was in a store. Not completely numb, but numb enough to scare me.
Thus followed a series of x-rays and physical therapy and training and yoga and chiropractic. And walking, generally in an area where I wouldn't get hurt if my leg got numb.
Eventually, I asked my doc for some more help: I wanted a temporary placard for days when I felt that I was having issues. He looked at my x-ray and gave me a permanent placard. I was immensely upset by that and almost protested. He pointed out that my spinal issue wasn't going to correct itself, but said I didn't have to use it.
Truth is, even before that, I'd begun to avoid anything where parking far away was involved, and by far away, I mean if I had to cross traffic -- any traffic -- to get where I needed to be. I didn't notice that until I had my placard. Suddenly, I felt confident enough to go places. It really turned things around for me, and when it did, I realized that I'd developed an insidious fear of parking lots. They have nothing to grab onto, typically, and they just felt unsafe.
I made an agreement with myself that if I went 30 days without a numbness episode, I'd stop using my placard until it happened again. Over a year later and, unfortunately, that hasn't yet happened.
Tonight, I managed to trip and fall (my own clumsiness), and I hurt badly enough I'm not sure I'd have made it to the car otherwise. So I'm glad my car was right there, because I did get home safely.
Thus followed a series of x-rays and physical therapy and training and yoga and chiropractic. And walking, generally in an area where I wouldn't get hurt if my leg got numb.
Eventually, I asked my doc for some more help: I wanted a temporary placard for days when I felt that I was having issues. He looked at my x-ray and gave me a permanent placard. I was immensely upset by that and almost protested. He pointed out that my spinal issue wasn't going to correct itself, but said I didn't have to use it.
Truth is, even before that, I'd begun to avoid anything where parking far away was involved, and by far away, I mean if I had to cross traffic -- any traffic -- to get where I needed to be. I didn't notice that until I had my placard. Suddenly, I felt confident enough to go places. It really turned things around for me, and when it did, I realized that I'd developed an insidious fear of parking lots. They have nothing to grab onto, typically, and they just felt unsafe.
I made an agreement with myself that if I went 30 days without a numbness episode, I'd stop using my placard until it happened again. Over a year later and, unfortunately, that hasn't yet happened.
Tonight, I managed to trip and fall (my own clumsiness), and I hurt badly enough I'm not sure I'd have made it to the car otherwise. So I'm glad my car was right there, because I did get home safely.